under the weather

ok... so yesterday was the day but the fill didn't happen. here's what DID happen:

i woke up to a red eye. yep. red red red. and itchy and sore. i suspected pink eye. but regardless of what was going on with my eye i still did only liquids so i could get my fill that afternoon (my doc's policy on fills). 

a trip to the eye doc confirmed my suspicions. pink eye! so i was given a script for drops and carried on my way. they told me not to wear my contacts for three days or so (eek!) and since i'm totally blind without them (i'm for real!) i had to get a quick (and pricey - $114) pair of glasses made. choosing a pair that looked decent on me was difficult as hell seeing as how i haven't worn anything but contacts since high school. so i had my husband come up there to help me pick out a pair. he ended up being no help at all. sigh! anyway... i got the darned expensive glasses with those super thin lenses (which are still pretty dang thick anyway) but i think they look dorky. they probably do. anyway....


upon leaving the eyeglasses place my husband was like "well, i guess you aren't getting your fill today". i was like what? oh yes i am! so then he went on to say that he didn't think the doc would want to do it since i'm sick and contagious and etc. so i decided to call and ask the doc's office. well, can you believe it? my husband was RIGHT. he's never right but this time he was. i was shocked. and disappointed. i was ready for that fill and i was starving by that point from being on liquids only all day.


i rescheduled another fill appt for next wednesday and then quickly headed to chick fil a to eat a grilled chicken breast out of one of their sandwiches. lol


so here i am now, glasses on, feeling dorky, and thinking something is wrong with the right lense. it looks like everything is moving around when i walk but only out of the right side. the left side seems ok. but i can't take them back to the glasses place to get it fixed right now cuz i'll be blind while they are fixing them. so i just gotta wait it out until i can wear my contacts again (maybe tomorrow???) and then i'll get these darn glasses fixed in case i ever need them again. what a pain.


did i mention that getting used to these glasses gives me a real headache? well, it does. and it sucks.


hello, i'm bitchy and whiney. what's your name? lol

jealous of the fabulous boobs and whatever else....

i must admit.... i'm totally jealous of all you boobs out there. oh how i wish i could have gone, too. but i couldn't so i didn't and that's that i guess. i hope you all had a fabulous time and maybe one day i'll be a boob, too. 

so what's new with me you asked? or maybe didn't ask... lol... today the scale said i'm 189. yeah. 189. i honestly don't know when the last time i saw the 180's was. a long ass time ago that's for sure. i'm very pleased about that. very pleased. 39 pounds to go til i hit my goal. only 39 pounds. it's almost unbelievable since before it was 90 pounds to go. wow.

i'm supposed to go for a fill tomorrow. it would be my third. however, i gotta reschedule my appt. well, i don't gotta but i probably should. my husband is working 12's this week and me going would mean asking him to take off work early to keep the kids while i go get filled up. however, the doc said i could take my kids with me so i'm contemplating that idea. although i'm still not really sure if i actually NEED one. i mean, i can eat more than i should be able to, however, i still get stuck on some foods. a banded friend says i will always have the stuck problem even when i need a fill. it's just how it is with some foods. i'm not losing much anymore (only 1 pound over the last month) but at the same time i'm not exercising. and i noticed that i lost a pound and went to 189 after i did more activity for the past couple days. so it's got me to thinking.... well, what i already know.... which is GET UP OFF MY ASS AND EXERCISE!!!

i found some new gummie vitamins that i love. they are your life gummies and they taste awesome!!!

i've started taking b supplements and i've noticed my energy increasing. thank god! i was starting to get worried about myself for a while.

oh...and get this... i'm a cheer coach for my daughter's squad. the other day i was wearing one of the coach shirts that says her school's name and then "cheerleaders" under it. this lady in line in front of me at marshall's was looking at my shirt and was like "so... are you a cheerleader?". i was like "uh... no.... i'm a cheer coach and cheer mom". it's kinda wierd to me for her to think i was a freaking cheerleader but at the same time if she thought that i could possibly do even a portion of what cheerleaders do, then i must not be quite as big as i think i am! lol then the same lady went on and on about how great my lips are and even made me come over to her cashier so the cashier could see my lips. it was wierd but who doesn't mind flattering compliments? lol

tomorrow i'm getting bacck on the exercise wagon. i have to. i need to. i'm so ready to get rid of that 39 pounds and be at my goal. it's not that far away. i mean, i've already lost 51, what's another 39, right??? i'm starting to get my motivation back i think and i've missed it sooo much! not to mention that i have tons of great comfy workout clothes that i need to put to good use! lol

what the heck is THIS place?

hello my long lost friends. where i have been? where have you been? honestly, i have no idea where i'm at right now. still in onederland but i think i'm wandering around somewhere lost. i mean, i'm not losing but i'm not really gaining either. i'm eating but not as much as i did pre band. i think i need a fill, but at the same time don't really feel like i want one. i know i need to work out, i keep saying i'm going to, but i don't. i tell myself to make good food choices but find myself eating sweets on a daily basis. what's wrong with me? where am i?

today (well, the 12th) is/was my six month bandiversary and i couldn't feel less.... well.. banded. i haven't been to a weigh in with my doc in a really long time. i'm talking like june i think. i keep saying i'm going to make the appt and go, but i never do. i just don't get what my deal is.


i should be so happy with my 50 pound loss. over halfway to my goal. i should be gung ho and ready to go to lost those last forty something pounds. but i'm just not feeling i and i don't understand why.


i wonder if i'm settling back into my old ways. i mean, i can eat a bit more now than i could before. i guess my restriction isn't the greatest anymore and i find myself enjoying eating. i want to eat. a lot. at times when i'm not supposed to and i want to eat all the things i'm not supposed to. i've even debated trying to see if i could get macaroni to go down and be ok? i haven't done it and swear i won't, but why the hell am i even thinking about it? have i been possessed by the old pre banded me?


the other day a banded friend of mine talked me into trying on a pair of her size 12 american eagle jeans. i was only about 2 inches from getting them buttoned and zipped.  i wasn't excited or even phased at all. i didn't realize it at the time but now i'm like "wtf?". i mean, i haven't even been able to think about a size 12 jean since i can't even remember when! but still...


i'm feeling so unmotivated and lost. =*(

progress pics

so i thought i would share some progess pics tonight....

here is me 8 months BEFORE my lap band surgery. i was about 233 pounds.

and here's me almost six months AFTER my lap band and 50 pounds down. i weigh 190 here.

a friend of mine and me just took the 2nd pic this evening and i decided to compare it to one that we took back in july of last year. i couldn't believe the difference! i'm like "wow!".

hello.... is it me you're looking for?

well, as usual it's been quite a while since i've checked in here. what can i say? things are insane in my life. both in bad ways and good. i've got a million things going on and don't make time for blogging like i should. but i am still here. =)

weight loss updates...

i've officially lost 50 pounds!!! i realized the other day that that is EXACTLY the same as this huge bag of dog food that we bought for our dog the other day. it's sitting in my garage right now and sometimes i go in there and look at it and think "was that really on my body?". well, yep. it sure was. and it's gone now. it's freaking amazing.

i'm over halfway to my goal. my goal is to lose 90 pounds. i've only got 40 more to go. what a wonderful feeling.

my exercise regimen is still sucking. well, who am i kidding? it's pretty much non exsistent. but i'm working on changing that. well, i sorta am. ok... i'm kinda half assing it but dammit i have good intentions! lol

i've only had two fills and am at 5cc in my 9 cc band. i'm thinking about going for another fill soon but i'm not sure.

people are commenting on how much smaller i'm getting and i'm seeing it in the mirror and in my clothes and stuff. it's a nice feeling.

in other news...

the kids are back in school which has me busy as ever. my husband is having surgery in just a few days. one of my best friends is moving to alaska in a month and i dunno what i'm gonna do without her.


oh...and i feel like i must be the only one who hasn't tried zumba yet. sigh!