ghost blogger?

yes. i know i'm a ghost blogger. i'm hardly ever here anymore. i'm sorry. things are fine with me and my band. i did throw up for the first time since surgery the other weekend. it was damned curly fries. i wanted to have a few. bad idea! other than that all is well. i'm still losing, it's slowly though. and i've noticed i can eat more than previously. my mind says it's time for a fill but everytime i get ready to make an appt to get one, i have a mini stuck episode and question if i should get one or not. any advice from you experienced folks out there? i've only had two fills and i'm at 5cc's in a 10 cc band. i would also like to include the info that i'm not "dieting" per se but just kinda winging it and my exercise could be better, too. i know that if i were to step up the exercise my weight loss would be a lot more despite the fact that i can eat a bit more now. shrug.

an update from your half a$$ blogger friend

yeah...that's right, ya'll. i feel like a total half ass blogger. i mean, i haven't blogged in i dunno how long and the list of blogs that i need to read to catch up on ya'll's really seems neverending. so let me apologize now for not staying up to date on all your lives, triumphs, tribulations, and whatever else ya'll got going on. i'm sorry. and if you don't bother reading mine, then i don't blame ya! 

but if you are still reading now... here's what i have to say...

my kids have been home for the summer and so have i as i'm still doing the whole "stay at home mom" thing and let me tell you.... i'm sooooo ready for school to start back. we are all driving each other nuts. i had all these great things planned for me and the kids to do this summer... yeah... haven't happened. probably not happening. you see, everytime i take my kids out in public - whether it be a walmart excursion or just going to the library - it's a huge ordeal. it's my kids acting like they have no manners or no clue how to behave in public. it's my kids spinning the clothing racks as fast as they can at children's place while i'm trying to check out and the cashier's like "are those your kids?" and i'm thinking "omg.... ARE those my kids???". it's my son throwing himself on the floor of the entrance to the commissary and then flalling (is that a word?) his arms and legs in the air while going "goo goo ga ga". it's my daughter who has reverted back to babytalk and we don't know why. so you see.... i'm counting down the days til i can drop them off at school again.

now what else is new????

i'm down to 196 pounds. yeah. onederland is wonderful. sadly though, i haven't done anything to celebrate my accomplishment. i don't know what to do. i'm officially one pound away from being halfway to goal. one pound away! can you believe it?i can't! 

shopped the mega old navy clearance event twice recently and i'm in size large shirts (the xl's are mostly too big now!) and size large bottoms or size 16 jeans. what a great feeling. i can't remember the last time i bought size large tops and size 16 jeans. a long ass time ago!!!

oh...and i've become one of those extreme couponing people. but let me tell you, it's addicting and i'm saving a ton of money. today alone i saved $134. it's a great feeling and makes me not feel as guilty for not working. sometimes i feel that way. the hubby says i shouldn't. it just still feels wierd staying home when i've always worked all my life.

my eating habits and workout habits have been horrible lately. but i'm still losing so at least that's good. i keep telling myself that as soon as the kids are back in school it's back on the workout wagon for me. and i mean it! i'm hoping zumba will be the answer to my workout prayers. something fun and working out at the same time.

well,i realy should get some sleep. i mean, it's only 1:13am. lol 

i've seen it!

today. i saw it today! twice. what did i see, you ask?

ONEDERLAND!!!!!!

and it was wonderful!!!! i'm a little worried it might be gone tomorrow as i tend to fluctuate a pound or two  a lot of the time. but dang it, i can't believe i saw it today. 199 it said to me.  the last time i saw that was five years ago! five!!!

i have no idea what i'll do to celebrate it but wow. i'm only a few pounds heavier than my husband now. which means it won't be too long before i'm passing him by and i will actually weigh LESS than him.  that, to me, is a feat of itself as i've always been heavier than most guys i've dated. well maybe not ALWAYS but usually. and i know i'm not dating my husband but ya'll know what i mean!

oh...and my daughter took some random pics of me yesterday while she was playing with my camera and i'm going to post some. i feel like i actually look kinda.... dare i say it.... skinny..... in them? yeah...shocking myself here! i'll have to post so ya'll can see. i don't really FEEL skinny and at a size 16/17 i know i'm not but it's wierd. 

but oh so lovely seeing the onederland is. oh so lovely!

the misses

things i miss:

bread

rice

cheeseburgers

sandwiches

corn

strawberries

grapes

things i don't miss:

asthma

getting winded just walking to and from my car in a parking lot

not being able to buy clothes that fit at regular (non plus size) stores

feeling fat all the time

feeling guilty for eating a whole box of snack cakes in one sitting

sneaking food

being asked when i'm due (hello! i am not pregnant!)

drinking four glasses of coke before the food even arrives

notice all the things i miss are foods? hmmm.... how interesting is that? yeah i miss those foods but i'm better off without them. and getting better and better everyday.

what kinds of things do ya'll miss and not miss?

all good things...

my husband and i have been fighting all day. hell, we've been fighting for days truth be told. it seems like one issue after another. one of the biggest is his family. they all hate me for some reason. especially his twin brother. i've never even met these people except for the twin who i met for like 30 minutes over a dinner at olive garden when my husband and i had just started dating. i've never done anything wrong to this man but he hates me with a passion and has tried to convince my husband to leave me and has tried to be such an ass to me that he was hoping i'd leave his brother. neither tactic has worked but damn if it doesn't make our life and marriage difficult. it's a long ass story that i won't continue on with but wow... is it frustrating!

today i did some more shopping. desperately needed retail therapy although my wallet didn't need it! lol  i got two pairs of workout capris in a size LARGE (yay again!) and a couple XL shirts. 

then just a bit ago i got this silly notion to go try on a pair of jeans i've been waiting to fit into. guess what? they fit! so exciting! they are super cute lei jeans from wally world that i bought off ebay in anticipation of getting into them. and now i'm into them!!! juniors size 17 - that's me! what a great feeling. i'm also in size 16 in old navy stuff which is great as well.

so here's something i'm a little fussy about.... why doesn't walmart carry lei jeans anymore? is it just cuz it's summer and will they be making a comeback come winter or are they gone for good? i sure hope not as i love love love those lei's. they fit me like they were made for me and they look so cute! i get compliments everytime i wear a pair and they are inexpensive, too. can ebay really be the only place to find them now?


i just did a google search and found the lei official website which does link to walmart and says only available at walmart. apparently walmart is still carrying lei but not the jeans right now. i'm keeping my fingers crossed for this winter and a slew of awesome jeans showing up at my local walmart. who knows what size i'll be then but you better believe i'll be stocking up!


ya'll probably think i'm nuts and maybe i am but oh well. does anyone else absolutely love these jeans? am i crazy? a friend of mine has a thing for american eagle jeans. i've never tried those but i know what i love and that's the lei's and their low cost price tags and cute style. even my 8 year old daughter loves her lei jeans. they are her faves over old navy and children's place! lol


ok...the nutcase jean freak is going to be now. =P

a little while ago

two zero zero

this morning i woke up expecting to see the same old number staring at me on the scale as i weigh daily (like a ritual right after i pee!). well, today it had a surprise for me.

200!

i cannot tell you how long it's been seen i've seen that 2 with 2 zero's behind it. a really really long time. like probably when my daughter was 2 1/2 and i was taking adipex out the wah to try and lose some. and i did lose some. i remember getting down to 192 or 193 i think. but on the way down there was the last time i actually remember seeing 200 on my scale. that was SIX YEARS ago! SIX YEARS!!!

i'm just shocked. stunned. like OMG! next thing i'll be in onederland. i'm tempted to kick myself in the ass as i known i'd be there already were i not being a perpetual slug, but dammit.... i'm just proud and happy to be this close no matter what!

sometimes when i'm eating something and i wanna eat more, i get fussy when my band won't let me. but it's time like these where i am oh so reminded why i am here and what i'm doing and how great my band is and what a great decision this was. 

oh my band. how i love you!

some progress pics

so i thought i'd share some progress pics with ya'll. here they are...

12 pounds down side and frontal shots:

and here is 36lbs down side and frontal shots:

 
as you can see, i'm wearing the same outfit in both pics - same shirt, same pants. only thing is in the first set of pics (12 lbs down) i had totally stretched out the shirt so that it would fit decent while i was wearing it. something i called "the shirt stretch". if a shirt was too tight when i put it on, i would pull my arms inside and stretch it out a bit so it wouldn't fit so tight. well, i did that a lot before... when i took the second set of pics, no shirt stretch was needed! woohoo!

the thing i notice the most about the pics and comparing them is that my butt looks way different in the second set. like not as round and it sits higher or something. lol