so someone commented that i'm in "bandster hell". yeah... hell is about right. at least that's how it feels.
about a week ago today i was getting a fill and down to 182. now that i've been unfilled the scale has told me various things. the other days it said i was up to 186. yikes! now it's been steadily saying i'm 184 which was what i was before i went on liquids to get the fill that is now gone. sigh!!!
it's so frustrating. i thought i was finally on the way to the 170's. i wanna be in the 170's!!!! but nope. here i am stuck in the 180's and i can't seem to get outta here.
now, i did pig out last night (losing that fill really left me the room, ya know?) but other than that, i've been doing ok for the most part.ok... bad choices here and there. or everywhere but not as bad as i've been in the past. that's gotta count for something, right?
i haven't worked out in days. a week to be exact. but i blame that on life. life because it's been throwing me a helluva curveball here lately. i won't go into details right now cuz it's really upsetting, but it's about my son and something a mother never wants for her child. sigh. it's hard to feel focused and to want to work out and do things for yourself when you're worried about your kid. and the whole situation puts a huge strain on my marriage (as if it wasn't already strained enough) and my husband was my workout partner but lately i just haven't felt like sharing anything with him. sigh. life... oh why can't you send us something positive and happy for once?
anyway... i ordered the zumba set thing with the dvd's and the sticks. it came in on friday i think it was and i've yet to put it in the dvd player. i did shake the sticks, though. lol i keep saying "tonight is the night for zumba" and then it turns out NOT to be. i feel like i might as well have put $70 in an envelope and just chucked it in the trash for all the use i'm getting out of my new zumba. i do WANT to use it though. i'm just having a hard time.
sorry to be such a debbie downer. i'm really happy for all ya'll who are doing great. really. =) and i'm not just saying that. lol
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So sorry, Holl. For all of it. I wish you could have the life that you deserve, but it doesn't work that way, does it? It sounds like all the stress is pretty overwelming and you are coping with food and by avoiding the things you "should" be doing, like exercise. Just remember that putting your own self in order really helps us to feel better about all the out-of-our-control crap that goes on around us.
ReplyDeleteReally sorry to hear this. I know just what you mean about the stress of worrying about your kid - it can trump everything else in your life, for sure. This is a bump in the road and I know you will get through it all. Feel better.
ReplyDeleteI soooo want Zumba stuff! I was doing nothing too - so I joined a gym and when I have my motivation back I will do it on my own.
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